Does Anyone Else Think Ellen Degeneres Looks Like A Monkey?
By: Blue Rose
By: Blue Rose
"Why yes, this microphone does make me seem nonchalant"Oh you guessed it. Having bashed nearly everything else that appeals to the popular market out there, it's time to take down American Idol.*
After all the threatening letters, and sunglasses-wielding agents knocking at my door, I've decided to give Google a break, and to rip on Coca Cola for a week.
Always the front-runner in the competitive world of sponsorship, Coca Cola pretty much struck gold with their investment in American Idol. The show has become a major staple in the pop-culture world via a staggering 30 Million viewers a week.**Only big corporate politics could manufacture the evil contract American Idol forces you to sign your soul to if you happen to have any scrap of talent.***
The studio that produces all of the 24 semifinalists from the show is called "19 Entertainment". A company that Simon Fuller (American Idol's creator) has a stake so large in, he comes away with almost HALF of the money profited through the show's artists. 1
Think about that. He gets HALF of the sheer profit. The record sales, the T.V. performances, concert tickets, everything.
The show is a gravy-pumping machine****, and they are dang efficient at it too.
According to local Radio Host "Kid Cratic", Simon Cowell is the highest paid actor all time, making around $22,000 PER SECOND based on his screen time on American Idol, which translates to about a $40 Million a year contract. 2
That Smile says, "I own your soul".Rumors have circulated about sketchy legal complications involving the 19 Entertainment contract, including the mysterious disappearance of Mario Vasquez from the show a few years ago, and even about Clay Aiken having to sue the company to get out of his contract.
None of these could be verified through my quick scour of the internet, but none of the contestants seem happy about the deal they have to agree to for the exposure.
Now, I know what you're thinking (as I've said many times before), Why not just quit the show before the semi-finalists Rose? You get all the exposure of being on Network T.V., and get out of the contract, it's a win-win!
And you'd be right; if it wasn't for a little thing I like to call Adam Lambert Syndrome.
"Come help me look for my dog kid, I'll give you some candy!"
"Yo, yo yo Dogg, that was really bumpin' yo!"- Hair that is bigger than your face
- Awkward, Gimmicky arrangements of songs that make the now deceased artists turn in their graves
- Millions of fans, and a paycheck that consists of hundreds of dollars
- General unexplained homo-eroticism
So remember, get tested regularly, and spade/neuter your pets.
Reminding you to always find your voice,
Blue Rose
*Stay tuned next week for when I destroy Glee
**to put that in perspective, American Idol gets about as many viewers in 4 weeks as people who voted in the 2004 Presidential Election.
***Hence the reason they robbed the M.C. from America's Top 40
**** Much Like Kirsty Alley
1 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7046600/
2 http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_money_does_simon_cowell_make
....So what exactly do you have against the show? I mean, I know the legal matters of the contracts the contestants have to agree to is sketchy but if you're going to hate American Idol for that, then I'm guessing you also hate every other talent show competition. All those other shows make their contestants agree to the same general contract.
ReplyDeleteAs a matter of fact, I DO hate all of those shows lol
ReplyDeleteI guess what you're asking is why I'm writing about American Idol specifically. For several reasons. It's the most notorious for the contract issues, it's the most watched, and it's really the only one I've watched enough to write about.
But, no my hatred doesn't only stem from the contract issues. I really don't like the gimmicky stuff they do. It's almost like they've "jumped the shark" this season. Also, half the time they pull random, illegitimate musical terms out of the air when they aren't eloquent enough to describe the kind of sound they want to hear, and as a musician it aggravates me a little.
also, the personalities of most of the contestants drive me crazy. I'm all for having fun with music, but I tend to take it very seriously in a classical sense. Since it's something I put so much work into every week, I view it as something that is very serious most of the time, and requires a lot of work. So it bothers me when they get so much exposure by exploiting themselves with cheap gimmicks.
I see your point. I really do. But I don't watch American idol for for the talent. I watch it for the lack of talent. It's entertaining because the contestants usually choose a song that everyone knows and loves. It's entertaining to watch them try and fail not to butcher a classic song. I'm not a musician but I can definitely see why this aspect of the show would frustrate you.
ReplyDeleteBut there are aspects of the show that do frustrate me. The same type of person wins American idol every season because of the type of people who watch the show and vote weekly. People from all over watch the show but most of those who vote are from the more conservative parts of the country, so when it gets down to the top 2 the contestant with the more conservative "image" wins. It's a popularity contest, not a talent competition. But entertaining, nonetheless.