Zombie Networking
By: Blue Rose
By: Blue Rose
Imagine, if you can, the most advanced, dominating army of all of human history.
Picture 400 million people, from literally every demographic, background, and tax-bracket, all suiting-up to do battle, just to further extend their empire. Imagine that, at the hands of these mercenaries, are 160 million different weapons at their disposal.
Needless to say, with these appalling numbers at their beck and call, one could accomplish literally any conquest they had the desire to undertake. All it would take would be one visionary, one master general, one devil so vile, that it could encompass such a wide variety of people, and drag them into its army....
....And that devil is named FaceBook.
That's right, with over 400 Million users, and 160 million interactive pages, groups, and applications, FaceBook is taking over the lives of people all around the world, and, with 30% of its total users right here in the U.S., we are the most at risk.
The time has come to stand-up and fight! Brandish your s-words, and cut off the limbs of the giant beast that is this devilish form of social networking.
There is a time and a place for Networking. It is extremely helpful in the job market, it's a great way to stay in-touch with old friends, and it can be a great way to promote yourself (*cough cough*), but this silliness has gone on too long!
If i never get another request to join "Farmville" it will be too soon, if I ever see an invitation to play "Mafia Wars" again I'll rip my eyes out, and, for the love of God, if I ever hear the word "Super Poke" again, I will super-poke myself in the forehead with a bullet.*
When did FaceBook shift from being an educated exchange of ideas, to an annoying offspring of an online version of a children's carnival, and that Highschool popularity contest you lost?
What the world needs is a professional, official networking site. Countless people are running into problems with their jobs, personal lives, and relationships that never would have happpened had they not been seduced into posting something STUPID on Facebook.
Applicant.com, in their article "How To Lose A Job Via FaceBook In 140 Characters Or Less" tells just one of many stories of people losing their jobs based on incriminating evidence posted on their FaceBook.
Anytime you publish something on FaceBook, it is there for the world to see, forever. That time your friend tagged you in a picture drinking at a Highschool party? yup your boss can see that. The time you got really mad and posted the F-word 50 times in your status? Yup, your future employers can check that too.
If you've fallen victim to this nature of FaceBook habit, you can already pretty much forget ever being a politician, or childcare worker, but there is hope. Call for social networking reform. Create an outcry for an alternative means so loud, webmasters won't be able to ignore the call.
Then maybe, one day, we will be able to social network in an environment that reminds us of what it is truly about, not one that harasses us into affiliating ourselves with useless applications and unprofessional representations.
- Blue Rose
*We here at S-words to not condone suicide, but we are in fact invincible. So don't take it too seriously when we threaten to shoot ourselves, as it has MUCH less adverse effects on us as compared to simple mortals.
