4 Ways We Are Very Likely To Die
By: Blue Rose
By: Blue Rose
1. Mass Explosion Created By Us
Humans are instinctively drawn to making the biggest explosion as possible. Exactly why, no one knows. It starts with watching ants pop through a magnifying glass when you're a kid, evolves into fireworks when you're a pre-teen, and before you know it, you're a Nuclear chemist working on the next Manhattan project. There's just something that draws us to watching sparks and flames fly all over the place, and this joy is only increased exponentially when the explosives in question are attached to a younger sibling's Barbie Doll. As the demand for larger and larger explosions continue, eventually one crazy scientist will take it too far. The resulting blast will be so huge, it'll make Stephanie Meyer's ego look like the Jonas' brothers man parts.
Humans are instinctively drawn to making the biggest explosion as possible. Exactly why, no one knows. It starts with watching ants pop through a magnifying glass when you're a kid, evolves into fireworks when you're a pre-teen, and before you know it, you're a Nuclear chemist working on the next Manhattan project. There's just something that draws us to watching sparks and flames fly all over the place, and this joy is only increased exponentially when the explosives in question are attached to a younger sibling's Barbie Doll. As the demand for larger and larger explosions continue, eventually one crazy scientist will take it too far. The resulting blast will be so huge, it'll make Stephanie Meyer's ego look like the Jonas' brothers man parts.
2. Massive Wars
People will find any and every excuse to fight.
Eventually, when we tick Switzerland off enough to do something all sign-up for two opposing sides, there might just be enough armies that fight to actually annihilate the world's population.
When we finally find that one issue (which carebear is the best, 80's progressive rock vs. glam rock, Who's hotter: Lisa Nova or Sarah Palin, etc. etc.) that we all feel so passionately about we just have to pick a side, the world will be put in such conflict that it won't be able to make it through.
Eventually, when we
When we finally find that one issue (which carebear is the best, 80's progressive rock vs. glam rock, Who's hotter: Lisa Nova or Sarah Palin, etc. etc.) that we all feel so passionately about we just have to pick a side, the world will be put in such conflict that it won't be able to make it through.
3. Lack of Food
Let's face it, no one want to be a farmer anymore.
4. Destruction of the Environment
Pahahahaha Global warming. Hahahaha yeah right.
Reminding you to find your voice,
- BlueRose
P.S. did none of you really notice that even though last week's article was entitled "4 Reasons Justin Bieber is The Spawn of Satan" it wasn't a top 4 list? I thought you all were more observant than that.
Reminding you to find your voice,
- BlueRose
P.S. did none of you really notice that even though last week's article was entitled "4 Reasons Justin Bieber is The Spawn of Satan" it wasn't a top 4 list? I thought you all were more observant than that.
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