S-Words Goes On The Road!!

S-Words On The Road
By: Blue Rose

- 50th Article -

We here at S-Words just want to say thank you to all our fans out there for supporting us as your one-stop-shop for entertainment and political news. We've really enjoyed writing for you guys, and look forward to some very exciting things in the future.

Don't worry, we're not adding a third author. That's just a friend.

- The Trip -

In honor of Reach For The Sky's birthday, the S-Words staff decided to hop in the SUV, and make our way to Little Rock, Arkansas to see one of our favorite stand-up comedians, Gabriel Iglesias.

For those of you who aren't aware of Iglesias, he is an up-and-coming comic in the stand-up world, and is the author of two Comedy Central specials entitled "Hot and Fluffy", and "I'm Not Fat, I'm Fluffy".

- The Peabody -

Our excursion to the bustling city of Little Rock started with a check-in at one of the finest hotels we here at S-Words have ever shad the pleasure of staying in, "The Peabody".



The hotel featured a live duck pond, an extravagant Italian steak house, and a 3 bedroom suite that made for a perfect central-command for the S-Words writing staff.

- The Show -

After a great dinner, and a quick trip to will call, we were seated in the convention center waiting for our entertainment to begin.

- Martin Moreno -

The first comedian, Martin Moreno, was entertaining enough. His comedy entails mostly racial commentary, and stories of him and his friends getting wasted.



Almost all the way through Martin's act, something magical happened...

- Shaun Latham -

Instant seat upgrade to the front row for the s-words posse!

The second comedian, Shaun Latham, was a definite improvement from Martin. His comedy, slightly more sophisticated, centered around his experiences and struggles trying to pick-up women, as apparent by his catch-phrase, "That's Player S***". Despite his slightly abrasive nature, Latham pretty much mopped the stage with Moreno.

- Alfred Robles -

As Latham exited the stage, Alfred Robles entered. Honestly, I don't remember much of what he said. His comedy was somewhat forgettable, but from what I remember, it entailed more of the same alcoholic humor.

- Noe Gonzales -

Then came the last, and arguably the best of the warm-up comics, Noe Gonzales. The obligatory short-man, Gonzales' portion was a much more physically-centered comedy. To illustrate his points, Noe constantly traveled around the stage, flailing around his comical hand-gestures to entertain the crowd. Gonzales was the perfect hype-man for Iglesias to follow, but something interrupted the normal flow of these kind of shows.

- The Swaggar Push -

"We Have Your Sizes, Up to 6XL!"

Gonzales stayed on the stage as Martin Moreno reappeared. What followed was a 20minute segment, in which the two pushed every piece of merchandise sold at the event. The lights were raised so we could see the products, and the two babbled on about "this product" and "that tee-shirt" ad nauseam.

- Gabriel Iglesias -

After that painful encounter, the moment we had been waiting for arrived. The crowd could not be calmed as Iglesias took the stage, and began his amazing act. His comedy ranged from hilarious commentary on society, to an amazing command of vocal sound-effects, and just a few impressions mixed in for flavor.



As if his normal act wasn't enough, Iglesias, at the end of his act, started interacting with the crowd. About 13 Minutes after his act was over, Gabriel informed the crowd he was over time, but that he was "having a good time" and didn't want to leave. As he asked the crowd if they wanted him to continue, there was an uproar so loud, it would've taken at least 600 Spartans to rival.



Iglesias did everything from improving about the theatre, the town, even random comments from the crowd, to old material via request by the crowd.



Iglesias more than exceeded expectations, and was definitely worth the trek. From his command of almost every aspect of stand-up comedy, to his friendly, laid-back relationship with the crowd, Iglesias provided a great entertainment for us, and a fantastic way to celebrate both Reach's birthday, and 50 articles here at S-Words.

Reminding you to always find your voice,

- Blue Rose

4 Reasons Justin Bieber Is The Spawn Of Satan

Justin Bieber Sold His Soul To The Devil By: Blue Rose

Oh, you heard me right. Justin Bieber is, in fact, the spawn of Satan.

For those of you who don't know, Justin Bieber is a 15-year-old Hip-hop/Pop/Radio Disney singer from the great State Of North Montana Country of Canada!

At age 12, the young Canadian super star discovered his talent for singing when he placed second in a singing competition in Stratford Ontario.

Let me say that one more time so it will really sink in:

He placed Second in a singing competition, in Stratford Ontario: population 30,342.*

So, you may ask, how is it that a second-rate singer from a relatively small town become a teen super-star?

Well, His Wikipedia page claims that he and his mother began posting videos on Youtube for his family members that couldn't make performances, which were in-turn seen by record executives in Atlanta Georgia but we all know Wikipedia is NEVER an accurate source for information**, so I can only draw one conclusion:

He made a deal with the Devil.

I know what you're thinking (isn't that scary?), it's another hasty conclusion, but how else would he be able to write so many songs about "love" unless he were learning all about the sins of the flesh vis a vis Lucifer?

In all seriousness, his album went gold within the first week it was out, his song "One Time" even went platinum in Canada! (No small task considering they're all Inuits who think Ipods are a type of agriculture).

This kind of success can only come from one place; a soulless vessel controlled by Satan.

So, you may ask, what will be young Bieber's next career move? A movie deal? Staged Celebrity Romance with Miley Cyrus? Mounting a war against Heaven?

No one can say. The only thing we know for certain, is Bieber has MOST DEFINITELY been welcomed into a very dangerous Family...


-Blue Rose

Reach's Note: Something tells me this guy doesn't have any trouble with "sins of the flesh"

*Canada's largest town
**Thanks AP English!!

A Mini-War With Google

I am really excited about this. Finally, I can spread my ideas across the world through the medium of internet! for free! However, nothing can truely be free, and Google Blogger is no different. You see, Blogger requires a payment of frustration. Allow me to explain.

In order to post, you need an account. Thankfully, since google owns everything important, I can just use the same username I use for GMail, Youtube, etc. and so forth. For some reason, this doesn't work. This is the same user and password I've been using for years. I kept convincing myself I was typing it wrong, and eventually Google grew unhappy with my repeated attemts to log in. And when Google is unhappy, everyone within a 10-mile radius is miserable. Eventually I got this:






What. On. EARTH is that supposed to be? How am I supposed to type That? That's the kind of thing I ask people to call me when I'm on laughing gas. How does that kind of thing get by Google? I understand they need to protect against spambots, but I don't think Enigma could crack that, much less a human. I can't even tell how many letters are supposed to be in that. Just looking at that disturbed me enough to forget about trying to crack my password. So I decide I'll create a new account, where I find...






GAH!

You win this round Google...

-Reach