Bowling Vs. Halloween

Bowling Vs. Halloween
By: Blue Rose

While throwing around the old rock tonight, a friend of mine made an excellent connection between the relatively similar levels of stupidity among drunk 25-year-olds at the bowling alley, and during Halloween.

So, in the spirit of the glory days of boxing, I've decided to set the two toe-to-toe in the ring, to see who emerges victorious.

Round 1 - Accessibility

Bowling definitely takes the first round right out of the gate. With most allies having bars built in, it is no contest for who is able to obtain alcohol easier. Halloween presents too many risks for DUIs, and DIPs for people to get too smashed out in public, but all is fair game at the bowling alley.

Round 2 - Supervision

Bowling takes a few jabs to the ribs early in this round, due to the fact that you do actually have employees at the alley who are monitoring the truly drunk people, but, Halloween gets tripped-up when most of the adults who would be out drinking have to take care of their kids for the night. And, if they're not taking care of kids, they're trying not to be so drunk that they mow them over while driving home later. So, this round ends in split-decision

Round 3 - Mob Mentality

Halloween takes this round uncontested. With throngs of people all celebrating, the bowling alley can't compete with the sheer stupidity brought on when 800 Frat boys, and 6 sorority girls, get together and through a "rager". This puts bowling to the mat for a moment, but, as he struggles to get to his knees, the inspirational music starts to play, and the bell rings for the next round.

Round 4 - Volume

Bowling comes out swinging with the fact that it has participants getting drunk 365 days a year, while Halloween only has one night. Bowling cuts, and jabs, and swings, until Halloween puts his gloves up to his face, only to meet the violent right hook of bowling.

*Down goes Halloween! Down goes Halloween!!!*

The insurmountable volume of stupid, drunk "adults" at the bowling alley every night of the week is just too much for Halloween to beat. Girls actually not seeing the problem with bowling in a skirt, cheap beer, blaring hip-hop music, and, on very special occasions, fog machines and black lights are just too much of a match for poor ol' Halloween; even with its slutty costumes.

Reminding you to always find your voice,

- Blue Rose