M-M-M-Mega Post

By: Reach for the Sky

I haven't posted in quite awhile due to end-of-the-year scrambling. For this I apologize. Now that I can no longer rest on that excuse, I feel I must rectify the situation. Here's four game reviews.

Red Dead Redemption is Grand Theft Auto set in the wild west. YOU are John Marston, ex-outlaw who has been torn out of his now idyllic life with his family to track down and kill one of his old outlaw friends, who he presumably met in outlaw kindergarten during outlaw finger-painting. He attempts to confront his friend while he is in the open outside his rivals fortress filled with goons and is hilariously and predictably shot before he gets his revolver out of its holster. The game truly starts after this, with everything you would expect from a western game and more. There are tons of mini-games to distract you from the slow-moving and extremely dull plot. The more action oriented parts of the game tend to get a tad repetitive, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it was padded. One of the things that bothered me was how inappropriately high and mighty the protagonist was. He constantly throws out these faux-wise remark about ethics and morality, whether or not the player decides to actually be a good person. It's entirely possible for Marston to be criticizing a snake-oil salesman one minute and dragging an innocent through a cactus patch with his lasso the next. The multiplayer is very innovative, but public games are so bogged down with griefers I wouldn't bother with it unless you can form a private game with friends. It also makes use of the new Euforia engine, which makes for some realistic looking lasso-related encounters. If you were going to buy a western game I would point to this one instead of Call of Juarez, and I could definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoyed the open world capabilities of Grand Theft Auto 4, although I should warn you Red Dead Redemption doesn't fully embrace random criminal acts the way GTA does. In short, it's fun but doesn't offer much in terms of intellectual stimulation.

Alan Wake is a survival-horror game that borrows from other horror stories the way John Dillinger borrowed from banks. That isn't an exaggeration the game rips core elements of Shutter Island, Birds, Poltergeist, and about half of the works of Stephen King. That's not to say it's a bad game, it just doesn't take itself seriously enough. Quite often the game would demonstrate the capacity to create a chilling atmosphere before thoroughly destroying it. The bulk of the enemy force consist of "taken" who you kill by playing the worlds most violent game of flashlight tag. These would be frightening if their presence wasn't pointed out by a slow-motion camera shift nearly every time they showed up, in fact the few times they did jump out from a closet or a bush without warning I almost always let out an audible yelp. The other foes are possessed furniture and vehicles, evil birds, and occasionally a big black tornado. I felt like the vague antagonist could have definitely used a few more tricks up its sleeve, because as it stands the game was just too repetitive. I applaud the game for having a variety of light based attacks, and the selection of guns was both varied and believable for the setting. The main problem is rather glaring, the game just isn't that scary. Killing evil things becomes little more than a chore about half-way through the game, and there is almost no blood or gore (The game doesn't even have an 18+ rating, which is ridiculous for a horror game). I would rent it and give it a try, as it is a unique experience if anything, but there isn't anything past the average-length campaign and it doesn't warrant a purchase.

Backbreakers is a football game that makes serious use of the aforementioned Euphoria engine. Every tackle is animated and scripted on the fly, making the repetitive pre-scripted tackles of the Madden series a thing of the past. The controls are also quite a departure from any other football game, using a system similar to the Skate series for passes and maneuvering. The game lacks the polish of Madden, but I'm ecstatic that there is now an EA-free alternative to the dominating franchise of football games. The game does have its bugs and problems, and it sometimes doesn't behave as true to actual football as some would like, but for an otherwise mediocre developer's first try, it does a good job. I would recommend it over Madden, as it packs more innovation in one game than the last five iterations of Madden. 

Alpha Protocol is an espionage RPG, or at least it tries to be. A more appropriate title would be something along the lines of "huge disappointment" The story is fairly generic, this terrorist did a bad thing, go investigate him. You paly as a secret agent who is constantly hailed as exemplary despite the fact that he is at first proficient in only one weapon and has relatively few skills. The actual gameplay is very clumsy. Stealth, which you would think they would take the time to perfect since the player is a spy, is completely broken. The shooting mechanics are poorly executed, and god help you if you end up fighting an enemy outside the range of your preferred weapon. The interface is unintuitive, forcing you to open an inventory screen to switch between two weapons. There's the much touted dialogue system, where you select one of three responses by choosing a "type" of response. Instead of the dialogue being written out line by line, the game gives you a one word summary of the options to give the player an idea of what he'll say, although this idea is occasionally incorrect. I fail to see the point of this system, it limits the options to a strict four and often misleads the player, but offers nothing in return except less reading, which is the exact opposite of what gamers need. Can't recommend this game to anyone who dislikes searing rage.

I haven't given up on politics, I promise.